Just One of the Boys

"You're just one of the guys now. Like, you're a girl...but you're not."

I recently recieved this comment from one of my very good guy friends. Like most girls would, I asked myself if I should take it as a compliment or an insult. I mean, when a guy says you're not a girl, it kind of makes you wonder. Do I remind them of a boy? Do I look like a boy? Should I act more girly around them? Do other girls think I am weird for laughing along with their sometimes twisted humor? Is it bad to be one of the guys?

For the past couple of weekends, I have been hanging out with a lot of my guy friends. And for majority of the time, I have ended up being the only girl. I will admit, when I first walked into the house and realized I was the only one with boobs, I sort of panicked.

"Oh crap," I thought. "I shouldn't be here. It's gonna be awkard and they are gonna act all weird around me."

But after resisting the urge to run away, I realized it wasn't so weird being the only girl. And the guys didn't act any different around me then they do at school. They made me laugh just as hard and they really held nothing back. I did do a lot more listening then talking, but I really didn't mind. It was interesting to see some of my best friends really talking about what they felt, not censoring themselves at all. On occasion one of them would be mid sentence and then glance at me questioningly, as if for approval.

"What?!" I would proclaim. "You don't think you've already poisoned my mind enough! Might as well continue."

But even with all the dirty jokes and random spasms, I fully enjoyed listening to them. When other girls were around, a lot of my guy friends would close up. I was glad they didn't feel that way around me. I didn't care that they didn't try to impress me or show off for me. I really didn't mind when they started a round of burping contests and started dancing like no one was watching. This was why I felt so close to my guy friends. They were so real. They had nothing to hide, and even if they did, they didn't try to hide it from me. I got to see the side of them that most girls never got to see, and I was thankful for that.

There is enough drama in the lives of ninth grade girls and spending time with all the guys was a nice break. No one was catty or talking behind my back. If I did something stupid, they would all just laugh at me and move on to the next thing. I never felt unwelcome or not cool enough.

"Don't be embarassed," one of my friends said, when I protested to joining their dance party. "No one will care, we all look weird dancing anyway." So I danced, and no one looked at me like I was freak. Some of them actually applauded me.

"You are pretty brave to come and hang out with all of us freaks. I salute you."

That was the greatest compliment I had ever recieved from almost anyone. It proved that they respected me for not being fake around them even though they were all boys. It made me feel special. Like they could talk to me without getting shy or feeling awkward. They could make jokes and know that I wouldn't be grossed out or get offended. This was when I realized that it's not bad to be one of the guys. When my friend had told me I was "a girl...but not" he meant that all of the boys could talk to me the same as they could talk to eachother. They didn't act different around just because I was girl.

I know that it is wonderful to all girls when a boy likes you as more than a friend, even when you are one of the guys. But when you put in perspective, what would you rather have. A boy who thinks you're cute, but clams up around you because he is afraid to make of fool of himself, or a group of guys who could care less what you look like and like you because they can talk to you and not be ashamed? This weekend I realized which one I had, and I am thankful for it.

Boys are different than girls. But sometimes, boys can become the best friends a girl could ever have.